About 2.5 years ago I forgot how old I was and attempted something at a bounce house obstacle course place that I just should. not. have. I heard a sound in my spine that sends chills through my body even now. The attempted jump turned “scorpion” rendered me motionless for several minutes as I determined whether or not I had just paralyzed myself (I didn’t). I have suffered from lower back pain ever since.
Several months ago the pain got so bad I could barely get out of bed in the morning. I made an appointment to see a doctor and they sent me for an x-ray. The follow up visit was not helpful- as the PA I met with told me the pain was due to arthritis that I have from being overweight. She said I should just lose weight and the pain would lessen. While I’m sure there is truth to this, I had been overweight before the injury and did not have back pain. Not to mention the fact the pandemic eliminated my exercise routine/availability.
I told a good friend of mine, who is a physical therapist, about the pain and the PA’s diagnosis and my friend started asking me questions about what triggers the pain. She had different ideas about what was causing the pain- and has been kind enough to give me guidance for healing this injury.
The first thing she said was this: “don’t do the thing that triggers the pain.”
Makes sense, right?
But how often have I done something I knew would hurt because it was easier to rely on old patterns than try something new? Sometimes I am slow to learn- but what if it leads to something better? What if breaking an old habit heals the pain? That would be worth it, right?
There is a difference between leaning into pain that teaches us (like working out or going to therapy) and inflicting pain on ourselves because trying a new way is scary.
I’m asking myself these two questions a lot right now: ‘Where should I lean into pain that will teach me?’ and ‘What should I stop doing that triggers pain that immobilizes me?’
How about you?